Santa the drunken wino
works in the department store.
And when the poor kids smell him,
they start heading towards the door.

All of the children’s parents
wondered how he got his job.
Why would this nice store hire
a big drunken smelly slob?

Then along came Christmas Eve.
Santa drank too much.
He tried to get up in haste,
but blew chunks in some boy’s face.

Then the kid just plain freaked out
And so did his family.
The boy should be all right though,
after years of therapy.